We go through lots of changes that we certainly don’t know is actually happening.
So without any further ado, here’s the second part of real life first-hand changes that shapes who I am now:
Fairy tales have always happy ending. Fictions, some of it offer happy ending. Movies have happy ending. What do they have in common? Yep. Happy Ending. That happily ever after twist of fate that we always want to achieve doesn’t happen in real life often. Most of the times, there are tears. There are anger. There are loss. There are so many emotions that we forget of happy ending. So what exactly am I saying? Real life is hard. Bam. Yep. Especially on love.
I had those times where I was heartbroken. Everyone experienced that. But mine made me close everything. It’s like trusting your heart to someone else is hard work. You tend to question their intention and what they want with you. The family and friends are exception to this, because of course, we know they’ll always be there. What am I talking about is someone special. You know, the one you want to spend your lifetime with? The forever kind.
To trust is to let go of everything you are to that person. But since I’m that closed off type, someone has to actually do some effort for me to believe their intention (I hope it’s good intention!).
Also, love at first sight? Come on. Maybe just like at first sight? Someone told me that it’s not real – that love at first sight. That someone asked, how can you love someone that fast? You’re simply pulled by the looks – the physical looks. Now, I think he’s right. It’s not real, but he can be wrong too. At times.
Some may ask me, but you’re a writer, right? How can you write something romantic if you exactly don’t believe in them? Maybe I still do believe in them. But not the way I believed before. Love is the bonus part of life. We don’t have to expect it because expectations lead to disappointments, and you don’t want to be disappointed when the person you like doesn’t like you back, right? So expect less. Don’t get attached too quickly. Don’t fall easily.
I still think that love is an amazing thing. That it’s still the most powerful thing in the world. I may have my walls built, but if someone can knock it down. So be it.
Life in general is a vast thought.
In my own experience, the ups and downs can be confusing. One minute you’re happy, then the second you’re not. It knocks you out at the most precise moment and then you question everything you have. You question your existence. You question your purpose. You question your beliefs.
Life is unfair. We all know it. Why let it take over life? Why the unfairness has to take the wheel? Take the wheel. It’s your life. Be the driver. Be the one to explore the great things in the world. Be the someone they say you’re not and you will not be.
I still question everything that is happening to me. For one, I can’t truly say I’m happy with who I am. I feel empty somehow.
When I was young, I thought it’s easy. Well, that’s because we don’t do lots of things when we’re young. We just grow up and let our parents look at us over and over again. But now that I’m adult, I feel like I want to be young again.
Adult comes with the word responsibility. You can’t always depend on your parents to decide on you. You have to think things through and do the decision on your own. Let the people you care about know, but at the end of the day, it’s your say that will prevail.
I also learned that failure is something you take seriously. It’s a lesson. It’s a chance to do it right for the second, or for the third time. Being a failure doesn’t mean it ends there. You can always go back up and do it again. No matter how hard a situation can get, it always has a way out. Never ever stop finding that way. Like what they say, there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
I’m more open to changes now. Now I know it’s not something to be scared about. It’s a chance to find yourself, get to know someone, take on adventure and misadventure. It’s a way to find that answer you’ve been wanting to know.
Before, I’m that person who gets attached so easily. Then I’ll be disappointed when I’m being left out. Now, I want to think that I’m more open to changes. That, even though I still get attached, I have the limit to be open and to be closed off. I want to believe that I’m becoming a better person. I’m becoming more aware of the decisions I’m doing and the result it may get me. I want to see more of myself in the future being happy with everything. That the current path I’m into in my career, my friendship, my love life, and life in general is the right one.
But then again, there’s no right path. There are detours, road blocks and sometimes we have to take U-turns. Whatever happens, I hope that you’re happy. Regardless of the changes happening, I hope you have a smile on your face. And please, don’t be a grumpy and pessimist. What you need is something positive.