To the Longtime Friends I Wished I Still Have

Recently, I’ve been visiting some of my old friends’ facebook accounts. Some I was able to find, some I had to google, while some hadn’t leave any trace in the social media. I asked myself last year, would have I gone a mile to message them and asked how were they? Would they still remember that once upon a time we were friends? Maybe even best friends? Actually, I’d took several steps and messaged some of them and it was fun talking and catching up but the relationship that once was there was no longer present.

I’ve come to the point in my life that if someone doesn’t want to stay with me, I’ll let them be. It’s hard at first. I have to adjust to it but as time went on, it becomes natural. Maybe for some it’s not but try to get on my shoe: I’m the shy girl. I find it even funnier to have those awards a long time ago during my elementary and high school days that I was the most friendly. Would someone step forward to justify that for me?

From time to time, I still check on those former friends and see how their lives are going. If they’re doing the same to me, I’m glad for it. If not, it’s also okay. I never ask them to stay and if by any chance that they don’t want to check on me, it’s just how life goes on. Some people go while some will stay.

But then, there’s also a time in my life that I ask, do I regret letting them go? Would I reach out further to be friends with them again? You know why I ask this? It’s because I’m seeing former classmates who are still friends and it’s amazing to know that all throughout those years, they never lost contact. I wouldn’t know that kind of relationship because I had friends for a long time and with just a snap of a finger, they’re no longer there. It’s sad to know that you have to think of something to get them talk to you. It’s sad that before even if you don’t talk for months, you can still go on and talk like you just seen each other yesterday. It sad that you’re seeing them happy with their other friends and you’re just there, sitting and thinking, what I have done to lose a friend like them? Did I do something wrong to make them stay away? Did I say the wrong thing to make them stop talking to me? There are so many questions you might ask yourself, but know this: if you don’t want to lose, you’ll go for that miles to reach out. And if by any chance they disregard the step you did? Then it’s time to let go.

The friends I have right now are from my college days, corporate life and travels. I have a few from high school and I don’t think I have any from elementary. It’s insane how huge you can make out of friendship. And I always say this, the amount of friends that I have right is enough to last me a lifetime.

If at any point in your life, you feel that people are just leaving you, don’t think bad about yourself. It’s not because you’re not a good person or a great friend. Friendship is just like love. Maybe it’s not your time yet. Maybe you’ll meet again and who knows? Maybe you’ll be closer than before.

And to those longtime friends that I wished I still have, maybe we lost contact and we just go on with out lives. But in the event that we may cross each other’s paths again, let’s say hi.

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